Brokenness

Lord I miss a life, Back when I found a home.

A place in which I am fully accepted. 

I miss a life that is so thirsty of your presence.

A life when my soul is so satisfied with the words that I hear. 

I miss a life that is surrounded by your people that is so passionate about you.

A life in which I can say all things are possible because I have friends I can lean on.

I miss a tears that flows in my eyes every time we seek you, worship you and pray for those you want as to pray.

I miss the times when I hear you audibly saying a word that encourages me to hold on, move forward, look ahead because you are near.   

I miss the times when I hear you say you love me and I don't need to worry but to trust you fully.

I miss the times when I feel so important to the people you've given me.

Oh Lord where did you bring me? What kind of world I am now living ? Can't you please take this away in an instant? 

Felt so lonely 😓

As if I carry all the burdens around knowing that You knew I don't wanna be in a place where I am & I cannot go back into the world I used to be. 

I was lost

I was wounded

Even desire to close my eyes daily & dream that this things aren't happening. 

The place where I call paradise Oh Lord push me away as if I have a leprosy and as if I am guilty of the most heinous crime this of this world. 

I was shattered & I don't know how to pick up my pieces.

I keep quite, tired of defending myself &  let the tears in my eyes heal the wound in my heart. 

Words of betrayal keeps ringing & ranging over my head over and over again and I keep on  saying to myself I don't deserve to be hurt this way, yet its happening and I'm crashing.

It's not an easy journey it's been so rocky, as if I'm climbing the highest of mountains.

Until you let me hear again, Until You Jesus bring my life again.

I hear your words of healing

I can feel your hands  new wrapped around me again

I am like a child, who just want to cry & cry and never want to go by.

 I know you try to fixed the brokenness of my yesterday and you let  new people to be around me, you gives me courage to share my story. I admit I am not 100% healed but I know Lord you would never leave me behind..

3/28/2016

 Psalm 34:18 

" The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit "